Unpacking....and angels

I look around the house and there are still boxes of mine that need to be unpacked. I know Mike must think I am a lazy bum because he has manged to unpack most of his. Of course, he did move into the house in April so he has had a few month of leeway time on me.

I know this sounds nutty but it is a very emotional process for me to unpack. Every time I open a box I find some reminder of Emily just waiting to be looked at. A photograph, a set of earrings she gave me, a pair of shorts that we went shopping together for. Even though Emily did not live near me I am shocked as to how much she intertwined with my adult life. Of course we are sisters and siblings so she has been part of my life since I was 2 1/2. I don't know why it surprises me to find so much of her inside those boxes but it does.

Just last night I pulled out a box I had full of perfume. Emily loved perfume. When I went home at Christmas she would come into my room everyday and ask to borrow some of mine. At the time it drove me a little batty because she had her own but she said she loved wearing something different. And it just made me so damn sad to realize when I go home in October for my class reunion that Emily will not be there to steal my perfume.

Of course in the mist of all this unpacking I have my ipod playing in the background -- when I hear the song In the Arms of the Angel by Sarah McLaughlin. It was so poignant and maybe it was Emily's way of letting me know she does has comfort now. And that she is a little redhead angel now. :)

In the Arms of the Angel by Sarah McLaughlin

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
let me be empty
oh and weightless then maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe
in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here